Where does it come from?

I was too young to appreciate Beyond Our Ken, the forerunner to Round the Horne, when it was first broadcast but I have listened to many episodes since then on tapes and on BBC7. One of the most popular characters played by Kenneth Williams had the catchphrase 'Thirty-five years!'

It doesn't sound quite as impressive if I go around saying 'Three years!' as I celebrate the third anniversary of beginning these fortnightly columns but I am surprised, both at how quickly the time has flown and the fact that I am have somehow come up with seventy-plus articles (and counting!)

You see, it all started out as a proposal for just one feature. Back in the late nineties, I rang the then editor of the Radio Magazine, the late Howard Rose, to ask if he would be interested in a one-off piece about the ups and downs of show prep writing. He said he was, and to send it in. But somehow, what with my speaking, teaching and other writing commitments, I never got around to doing so.

Fast forward to 2003 and I rang again. By now, Paul Boon was the editor, a very friendly chap who laughed at my humour on the phone and told me that if I had enough ideas, I could do it as a two-parter. Now that made things even easier - so why did it take another three years for me to actually sit down and write it?

When I did finally send the articles, I mentioned that I had also contributed to BBC radio comedy shows for twelve years, written a Radio 2 documentary about 10cc and been interviewed on air several times myself and that the anecdotes and observations from these might make a handful of further pieces. Paul said he'd have a word with his deputy, Collette Hillier, and see what she thought. The result was that I was asked to write a fortnightly column from that point onwards.

I had never realised before how much of my writing, whether for radio, live performance or publication, is fully-formed in my head before I ever put pen to paper or switch on a computer. Of course, there are times when I make notes and develop them, or compose from scratch on the screen, but so many of these columns have been conjured up while doing something else. This is fine - just as long as no-one can see you. It's one thing to devise material while lying in the bath but doing it in a public place like a supermarket means that people are sometimes amused/baffled/frightened by the inevitable facial contortions which accompany such intensive thought!

A few years ago, I was in a comedy club in Camden on my way back from speaking at a lunch in Beaconsfield. There was a chance to do an open mic spot and, as I hadn't done any stand-up for about five years and I was on a high from the speech going so well, I thought it might be interesting to have a go. I had a short time in which to put a five-minute routine together so I took myself off into a dark corner (actually, they were all dark corners in this particular room above a pub) to sort out some new material, try and remember tried and tested lines from years before, put them all into a logical sequence and mentally rehearse.

The resulting dancing eyebrows, jaw movements like a cow chewing the cud and twitching shoulders as I prepared myself soon led to the Aussie organiser coming over and asking in a very concerned way 'Here, mate, are you alright?' And I thought I was being so unobtrusive...

Another thing which has surprised me is how big a part radio plays in my life, not just professionally, so this supplies me with subject matter, whether it's the listening habits of Bournemouth taxi drivers I know or missing programmes during a power cut.

Today Collette is the editor, the Radio Magazine can now also be read in an online version and these columns seem to be delivered so much nearer to the printer's deadline than when I started. But the ideas keep coming.

It's called creativity. Some of the larger networks might like to give it a try.

(Republished from the Radio Magazine Issue 883, 18 March 2009)