The Right Impression

Once, when I was twelve, I silenced an entire changing room by bellowing outside in the voice of our games master. I then proudly entered to a chorus of 'Oh, Thomas!' If he had been in there, I don't know what would have happened.

As someone who has always had an interest in impressionists, I am rather proud of the fact that the first sketches I ever had used on the radio were performed by Alistair McGowan. Back in 1990 he was a guest cast member on Radio 4's Week Ending but he's done rather well since then.

There are certainly some very good impressionists on TV (many of whom started in radio) but however accurate the voice and brilliant the make-up, they are often let down by a lack of physical similarity to the impressionee (let's coin a new word, shall we?) I don't think I am alone in thinking that Dead Ringers worked better on radio than television.

Over the years, I have written for a large number of impressionists on Week Ending, for the London Fringe and Edinburgh Festival show Newsrevue, Brighton's Treason Show and many cabaret performers.

One thing I have noticed is that you cannot be in the company of an impressionist for long without them having to prove that they can impersonate the famous - even if you have heard them perform many times over the years. Imagine the scene: the restaurant on the end of Bournemouth Pier, lunchtime, height of summer. The place is packed and I am having a meeting with an impressionist I have known for years about some material I'm writing for him. He's not a household name but he has had numerous TV appearances and he works solidly. He's also a very nice chap - a showbiz/media person who I have never heard say anything negative about anyone (weird!) Halfway through our discussion, he goes into his Michael Jackson impression. No crotch-grabbing, llamas or baby-dangling but enough high-pitched squeaks to have send me sliding down my seat under the table supporting my haddock and chips. I tell you, I earn my money.

I wrote for twelve years for the News Huddlines which mixed impersonations with caricatures. The first 'long' sketch of mine they ever used featured the show's excellent Chris Emmett as a showreel for an after dinner speaking agency offering Derek Jameson, Frank Bruno and Sir John Harvey-Jones. But when a famous person was in the news whose voice was nondescript or not well-known to the public, it was a case of 'How shall we do ---- ----?' Thus June Whitfield's interpretation of Norma Major revisited her Eth voice from Take It From Here and her Queen Mother was a bizarre but much-loved hybrid of Irene Handl and Mrs Bridges from Upstairs Downstairs. Roy Hudd, meanwhile, played Denis Thatcher as Ray Allen's vent doll Lord Charles. Such caricatures continue to this day with Little Britain's baffling but amusing depiction of Dennis 'feme toon' Waterman.

Topical shows often have to feature some newsworthy person, regardless of whether they can be easily imitated or not, so the dialogue in a sketch may need to explain who on earth the actor is meant to be. But what irritates me is when club acts who have total choice over over who to impersonate open with 'Hello, ---- ---- here!' I mean, if you have to explain that you're ---- ---- then why bother at all? Sadly, even pretty good impressionists frequently attempt that one voice too many, the one which is way beyond them.

Another annoying type of mimic simply impersonates other impressionists' impersonations, if you see what I mean, complete with the same invented catchphrases.

Worst of all for me are the 'comedianalikes'. Yes, they do exist, such as the one I saw advertised as 'A tribute to Peter Kay'. I mean, why? Peter Kay is awfully good but he was very much alive the last time I looked (young even) and thus pretty easy to see. It's different when it's a much-loved figure from the past, of course. One act I know does very well as a Tommy Cooper tribute. Now there is a star who is remembered with great affection a quarter of a century after his passing and this chap concentrates more on magic tricks, gags and telling TC's life story than trying to be a perfect copy of him.

But back in the 90s, I was commissioned to write some material for an 'impressionist' whose act consisted solely of pretending to be Harry Enfield's Tim Nice-But-Dim. I just couldn't do it and after several weeks received a furious phone call demanding to know why he hadn't received his gags and threatening to report me to Equity! I returned his cheque with pleasure, relieved to be free of trying to write for a seemingly pointless performer who wanted to get all his laughs by default.

There's art in good impressions but simply copying someone else, well, that's the stuff of the playground - or even the school changing room.

(Republished from the Radio Magazine Issue 851, 30 July 2008 and Issue 873, 7 January 2009)